From People Pleaser To God's Daughter

October 16, 2026

Sitting in the Ashes
Part 2 of Beauty from Ashes

Last time, we looked at the promise in Isaiah 61:3: beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, a garment of praise for a heavy spirit. It's a beautiful verse. But I noticed something I don't want us to rush past.

Before the beauty comes the ashes.

ASHES ARE REAL

In Bible times, ashes were what people sat in when their hearts were breaking. They were a sign of grief, loss, and a life that had burned down. The verse doesn't pretend that part away. It names it, which means God names it too.

Sometimes in faith communities we skip straight to the promise. We say "everything happens for a reason" or "just trust God" and move on, and the person in the ashes ends up feeling like their pain is a problem they should have fixed already.

But look at who is doing the exchanging in this verse. It isn't us scrambling to clean ourselves up. God is the one who trades beauty for ashes. We're invited to bring what we have, even when all we have is ashes.

MY ASHES

For a long time, I was a people pleaser.

I didn't see it that way back then. I thought I was being kind, helpful, and easy to love. But the truth is, I let people treat me badly, and I didn't stand up for myself.

When someone talked down to me, I stayed quiet. When someone crossed a line, I made excuses for them. I told myself it wasn't a big deal, that I was too sensitive, that speaking up would only make things worse.

I had a friend who told me exactly what I wanted to hear. She was kind to my face, and I trusted her. Then I found out she was telling a different story behind my back.

Underneath it all was a quiet belief: if I just keep everyone happy, I'll be safe, and I'll be enough.

But I couldn't keep ignoring what it was doing to me. I realized it was hurting me by the way I felt about myself. I looked in the mirror and felt disgust.

Every time I stayed silent, I gave away a little more of myself. I taught people how to treat me, and I taught myself that my feelings didn't matter.

That was my ashes. It wasn't one big fire. It was years of swallowing my words and shrinking so everyone else could be comfortable.

THE DAY EVERYTHING CHANGED

On 10/10/26, I went to 2819 Church Access, and it changed my life. The prayers and the preaching brought me to my knees.

I have always been a Christian, and I have had some deep moments with God. But He has been calling me to write this blog, and getting here was a spiritual war. God stripped me down and made me look at every part of my life, because He needed me to rid myself of everything except Him.

And here's what I'm learning: God never asked me to earn His love by tolerating mistreatment. The disgust I felt wasn't the truth about me. The verse says He gives beauty for ashes. It was never my job to make myself worthy first.

A QUESTION FOR YOU

Where are you sitting right now: in the ashes, in the in-between, or already feeling a little beauty come back? There's no wrong answer, and I'd love to hear yours in the comments.

Next time, we'll talk about the oil of joy and what it looks like to receive joy when you're not sure you're ready.

With love,
Jennifer